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mirrorshards:

no one asked for this but it needed to be done

(via singlemaltidiot)

pregnantseinfeld:

dilfzas:

shit like this is why i love tumblr you can literally say anything. thank you tumblr user pregnantseinfeld this has inspired me to threaten people with violence more

i love being an evil influence

Meanwhile I’m halfway through a one week twitter suspension for telling someone that the day they stop breathing will be a day that the world gets a little bit brighter.

(via pixylbyte)

halfwit:

rslashrats:

i want my firstborn to be named folder

second born named folder(1)

(via bacoose)

sjw-dipper:

(via likelytofail)

dykecostanza:

dykecostanza:

update: this shit is so fucked but the way it was leaked is incredible

(source)

(via likelytofail)

Anonymous asked:

i had a friend who had never eaten oysters before and when she ate them for the first time she didn’t realize she wasn’t supposed to eat the shell. so she crunched her way through several oysters. i asked her why and she just said she didn’t want to be impolite

hoofpeet:

hoofpeet:

what the fuck is your friend an alligator

sailor-arashi:

sayfaahtmah:

return of the goddamn king holy SHIT

“Hayao Miyazaki comes out of retirement shocking absolutely no one after the last ten times he has come out of retirement”

(via likelytofail)

princesscolumbia:

“…you come to MY HOUSE…?!?!?!?”

(via likelytofail)

odinsblog:

theweefreewomen:

theconcealedweapon:

[ID: a short comic. the left panel shows a person from the waist down walking, holding a red handbag, with text reading ‘A person steals $2,500 of stuff from a company. Felony, up to 20 years in jail, right to vote revoked’.

the right panel shows a businessman in a suit holding up two large bags of money, with text reading ‘A company steals $140,000 from employee paychecks. In most states, not a crime, grace period to reply, can still buy politicians’. a small bubble by the businessman reads ‘Bonus: interest-free payments’.

the bottom panel reads ‘Criminalize wage thief. Why do we even have to say this?”

end ID.]

“Most theft is wage theft. Meaning, the dollar value of stolen wages is greater than the value, each year, of all burglaries + robberies, shoplifting, auto theft, combined. Yet, wage theft is not a crime.“ —Dave McKenna

(via likelytofail)

beesmygod:

sexhaver:

Steam’s little corner notifications when a friend launches a game are so fucking useless and i hope they never get rid of them. yes, please let me know that the kid i met on a maplestory forum in middle school and haven’t spoken to in a decade is playing Train Simulator

me watching my friends start up fallout new vegas 30 times in a row before it starts working

(via bacoose)